For me, 2009 was about facing adversity and learning to put my own selfish needs aside to devote my time and attention to a greater cause. It was about learning that sometimes, there is no greater satisfaction than knowing you've helped someone in their time of need. It was about learning the meaning of true, unconditional love.
2010 was a year of immense hope, debilitating fear and heartbreaking loss. Amid the turmoil however, 2010 also taught me that true, unconditional love is undying. The person may be taken away, but the love will never be. Love will always prevail.
2011 was a year of unspeakable grief, and the realizeation that life is constantly changing. As humans, we are constantly changing. Through the grief, the year was about learning that life is just too short to be anything but happy, and that spending it trying to hold onto something that no longer exists is futile, and unjust. 2011 was a year of gathering courage, mustering strength and making decisions. It was about forging a new path, when the existing one led to a dead end.
2012 has been about achievement, finality and self-realization. It is the year in which I have largely been able to come to peace with my losses, gaining confidence that all has worked out as it was meant to, and that it is okay. Terrible, yes. Painful, yes. Unfair, yes. But okay. My trip to India played a large role in this realization. Until I went to Kiratpur Sahib in India, where my brothers' ashes are scattered, I was unable to find peace with what had happened to our family. Visiting this gurudwara however changed that. I will never forget that day. I was a wreck while I was there, but as we left, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, and I have been feeling "at peace" ever since. My brothers are fine. They are with God, in a beautiful, quiet place, where gurbani is heard all day, everyday. They can't not be resting in peace, and knowing in my heart now that they're okay, makes me okay as well. 2012 has also been a year about putting everything else aside, and reconnecting with myself - a girl who became lost in 2002, and re-emerged as a woman in 2012 after a decade-long life storm. It has been about finding and getting to know myself again. The Rupi that was and the Rupi that is are two very different people, and it was a pleasure to finally get to know the new Rupi. She's quite awesome, really! ;)
In the last decade, I've had people come and go from my life, and some who have stuck by my side through every up and down. I have met amazing people who have offered me unlikely support at my lowest points, and also have been surprised by those who have been notably absent. One of the major lessons I learned this year is that if there are people who contribute nothing to my life, or add negativity to it, I don't want them around. It's that simple. I have chosen to surround myself with happy, caring, supportive people who bring positivity into my life, and the difference I have felt in myself is amazing. I am a happier, healthier and better person today than I was 366 days ago.
As this year comes to an end, I find myself, for the first time in a long while, looking forward to seeing what the new year has in store. In many ways, it is a year of new beginnings, and I can only hope that they are the beginnings of something wonderful.
During the course of 2012, we have seen ups and downs. Sadly, the downs are the ones that stick out more in my mind. So many senseless acts of violence inflicted on one person by another. I hope that we have all learned lessons from these terrible acts and act upon those lessons to make the coming year a better one for everyone. If we all act together towards a common goal, nothing is unachievable. This world is an amazing place just waiting to be discovered. It is most definitely worth fighting for.
Having said all this, I am reminded of a quote by Harvey MacKay which states:
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about those who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.
It has taken me a long time to get back to a place where I can say that "life is beautiful," but today I can. Take it by the reins and make it whatever you want. Life is a book and it's up to each and every one of us to write our own story. Make it a good one!
Wishing my family, friends, and the world, in general, a great "last day of 2012" and the very best in 2013. May you all be blessed with love, health, happiness and peace. <3
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